A Subscription Service for Flowers?

Here’s the bottom line: I’m a man. I’m a real guy’s guy. Hell, I even like to think of myself as a girl’s guy. And when I get my girl flowers so I can remain her guy, I like to do it myself.  Call me old fashioned, but that’s just who I am. When I go out for a drink, I get my scotch neat. When I ride my motorcycle, it’s a Harley, or a Triumph. When I watch my Star Wars movies, I never go past the original trilogy. And when I buy my flowers, I like to do it at the absolute last minute possible so I can rush through a rundown grocery store only to ultimately purchase the only sorry excuse for a bouquet that the chain-smoking clerk has left.

Actually, wait a second… That sort of sounds like it sucks. And now that I think about it, I would love to relax with a dirty martini and watch the prequels every now and then. Episode III honestly isn’t THAT bad of a movie… But even with that said, I just don’t really think I’m the ‘subscription service for flowers type of guy’.

I mean seriously: what type of guy buys flowers in advance so they can ensure that their girlfriend is going to be happy in the future when a perfect bouquet arrives right on time? What sort of monster buys their girl flowers every month instead of waiting until Valentine’s Day to get her the obligated one bouquet a year? What would my girl even do with all of those flowers and newfound happiness? Huh, ok, now that I read that back, maybe this flower subscription thing isn’t the worst idea.

Come to think of it, you know what else is a subscription service? Netflix. And we all know how well a night of chilling with Netflix and your girl can go for you. I’m starting to think the hard science is in: Subscriptions are good for your relationships. But if you want to be the Blockbuster Video of boyfriends, you can go right ahead.

So, I’ve been mulling it over, and I was definitely wrong. I’m man enough to admit that. My girl deserves flowers on more than the one day I also mail a bouquet to my mom. I don’t want to be a slave to societal expectations. I want to get my girlfriend flowers all the time, just to make her happy, and you should too. You should get your girl flowers in the middle of the night. Get your girl flowers because her favorite show is on. Get your girl flowers because she had a good day at work, a bad day at work, or maybe just get her flowers because she chose to wake up next to you.

Long story short, with subscription flowers you are going to give better flowers more often, ergo making you a better man.