Man Smell: Cleansing the Palate
The smell of a man. Bacon. Brewskies. Nights out with the boys. A motorcycle howling down the open road in pursuit of the sunset and years gone by. That’s you. That’s your smell. You know who loves that smell? Women. Your woman. You’ve got those pheromones that are calling her name. That’s just science, and science is the ultimate wingman. Science is the type of guy that stays sober at the bar so he’s ready to drive you and your lady home when the night starts heading in that direction. Your pheromones are calling out to your lady in a sweet siren song of rugged masculinity, and she can’t get enough of it.
Unless, of course, she lives with you. Are you familiar with the phrase ‘too much of a good thing’? You wouldn’t think someone could get tired of waking up every morning next to the scent of a waterfall cascading down the Appalachian Mountains, but hey, anything is possible. She’s getting your smell all the time. She’s bathing in your smell, she’s drowning in your smell, Hell, she probably smells like your smell. As your pheromones stop having the affect they need to, she’s starting to sniff Troy from the office. Yeah, THAT Troy from the office: Skinny tie, skinnier jeans, and rock hard abs.
What your girl needs is a palate cleanser. She needs to fill up her nostrils with something sweet and flowery to let her fully appreciate how manly her man smells. What’s the sweetest and most flowery thing you can think of? That’s right, flowers. Get your girl some flowers. Cleanse up that palate, and get Troy out of her life once and for all.
Let me put it this way, your smell is like the meat at a Brazilian steak house. They just keep bringing out the meat, and you just keep scarfing it down. At some point you’re like ‘I literally couldn’t eat any more meat’, and that’s when they hit you with those little banana slices. You toss in a couple of those sweet little guys, and suddenly that next round of meat is the best thing you’ve ever tasted. Palette = cleansed.
Buying your girl flowers is like watching a comedy between every third horror movie when your boys are over for movie night. Instead of admitting to the guys that Jigsaw is getting under your skin, and that you can’t handle watching another human body get dismembered, you just tell them that you want to take 90 min to appreciate the antics of Will Ferrell. By the time the Catalina Wine Mixer is winding down and those Step Brothers credits are rolling, you’ll be all set and ready to handle Saw 4. There’s a whole lot of Saw movies out there, and you’ve got a whole lot of smell. Luckily Will Ferrell and Flowers are here to help us make it through the long haul.
Remember, you smell like adventure. You smell like a steak being grilled to perfection at a heavenly barbeque by God himself. You deserve to be smelled. So get up, get some flowers, and keep your girl’s nose as far away from Troy as humanly possible.